`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

When the Caterpillar asks this infamous question in Alice in Wonderland, he's mainly just being difficult. But there's a reason such a pointed question stirs feelings in Alice - and in us. Ask any of us who we are, and there's at least two dozen ways we could answer. 

Most of us, if we're asked how we see ourselves, start listing off our titles and our accomplishments. "I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm a Tarot reader and a coach. I'm a Floridian." We can go on and on with the labels we attach to ourselves, right down to things that set us apart from the mainstream, put us in categories, or even just put us down.

The thing is, so many of those things aren't permanent. They're changing, and our sense of self changes with them. Jobs are lost, divorces are filed, people move across the country or even across the world. One minute we "have it all together", with the relationships and careers we're told make us capable adults, and the next something changes - as life inevitably does - and the way we talk and feel does too.

But what changed? Are you any less 'you' when you've lost the weight, converted to the new religion, or made the move to another country? Or is there a core 'you', when you peel off all the layers, that remains constant no matter what is going on around you?

I'm not saying some labels aren't important parts of who we are. Sometimes they describe an experience we only share with certain people. Or they're part of an identity that's so important, we want the world to know it. 
But you ask five different people what those labels mean, and you'll get ten different answers. For a friend of mine, calling my ADD a "disability" meant I thought I couldn't do anything I set my mind to. I had to explain that for me, it meant I knew what naturally came harder to me, so I knew where I had to focus my energy - and to be patient when it took a little longer to improve.

In the end, it's what a label means to us more than the word itself. When I first went into business for myself, I researched the business style of a professional Tarot reader. Then I looked at coaching, and found that it was a huge element of what I did in my readings: helping clients take the next step towards the person they wanted to be, the life they wanted to live. But was I a life coach? A Tarot reader? How to market myself? I came to realize that these two parts of my work - the spiritual and the practical - were so intertwined they were both a part of what I did. Ultimately, no matter what the term, these were my tools as someone who loved to counsel, guide, and give.

So who ARE you?

Start writing - or talking, or vlogging, or whatever's comfortable for you. Think about what comes to mind when someone asks you that question. And then look for the meaning inside the words. What are the qualities in you that guide that huge part of your life? If you suddenly didn't have the money, the job, the spouse, what feelings from those things would still be left, shaping who you are?

And if you suddenly feel like you'd be less loveable, capable, or "together"...well, take a look at that. Where does that come from? You'd be no less loving, ambitious, or accomplished if you were still looking for a way to share it. And wanting something you feel you don't already have - well, that means you value those qualities. And that's a powerful thing all on its own.

Who are you? I guarantee you know, maybe even more than you think.

Every now and then, as a coach and the owner of a heart-based business, it's important for me to look at why I'm doing this.

What I want to communicate. What my message is. Because Tarot is the way I tap into the Bigger Picture in order to tell it, and coaching is the way I want to lend my gifts to the world - but it's important to remember the why.

The one big thing I'd share with everyone if I could, and that something is this:

Remember who you are.

You may not feel you know that. Or you may think it changed a long time ago. You may think you're not allowed to be the person you'd love to be, in the best of all worlds. 

Everyone has those moments, those times knowing the answer feels too painful. Maybe you're too afraid of finding the wrong answer, so you never even ask the question.

But it's there. It's deep in the core of you. When you envision yourself at your most powerful, on-fire, truth-telling, the height of your potential, that's you. That's the height of your power.

And when you're at your most afraid, when you want to give up and hide, and there's that small voice that reaches out in the frightened silence. That voice that tells you to get up, keep moving, that instinctively reaches towards the sun - that's you too. And in a way, that's also one of the most powerful things you can do.

It doesn't matter how you look or what you weigh. It doesn't matter what mistakes you've made, or what fears you have. 

It doesn't matter how far you step from the 'mainstream' path, because the secret is? In some way, we all do. We just think it's only us.

You are who you are, and nobody can take that away from you. The day you start to own it is the day you choose to make it yours. It's okay. You're okay.

The Moon is a card about the things we find in the dark. It's all the irrational fears and scared secrets. It's the stuff we're afraid to dig up because we think we can't handle it. It's the fears that, sometimes, are completely irrational and made to hold us back. And it's the intuition we find when we dig deep enough, the secrets and strengths that help us finally claim our real, authentic selves.

I call my practice 'Mirror Moon' because I think by providing a glimpse into a possible future, and a look at the archetypes and ideas that can help empower us, Tarot and coaching can help us do as the moon does. 

We can reflect light - our own inner light, the truest part of ourselves. 

And we can illuminate our paths. Avoid the potholes and tree roots, see ahead to where we want to go...and how to get there.

What do you want to reflect to the world? And what would you like illuminated? Let me know in the comments!

Well, we're at the end of the Ultimate Blog Challenge, and I've successfully written 31 different posts relating to Tarot, history, fear, motivation, diversity, creativity, and my continued ridiculous love for Leonie Dawson.

This is a huge thing for me, because while I love my blog to pieces, and I love everyone I've met through it, sometimes I slip up. I don't write a post every day, so I write extra posts and backdate a day or two. I don't always promote every post perfectly. Some of my ideas have been great, some not so great. I could write for a month or ten years, love it no less, and still have it be a learning process. So accomplishing this, having everything to show for this month, is a big deal for me.

Why would I tell you this when I'm a life coach? When I use my gifts as a Tarot reader, along with creative exercises and a guiding hand, to help others to learn, plan, expand, and grow? 

Because it's okay.

I have ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder. That means things like schedules, repeated tasks, and details are sometimes difficult for me. I've had to learn, over a long period of time, that Getting Stuff Done and Being Organized doesn't come as easily to me as it does to other people. 

That means I've done more to learn how to make it happen for me, what works and doesn't work, what fits into my personal rhythm and needs. And that means I've learned how to make mistakes: with acceptance. Understanding what happened, and how that's where I'm at. Resolving to take what I've learned, and try again tomorrow.

I've had times in the past where I'd decide that overnight, I was going to be a master of everything. I'd plan to work my tail off until my house was sparkling, my eating habits were flawless, I'd accomplished four or five different projects and still have time to read a book about spirituality or self-development at the end of the day.

That just doesn't work. Even when I finished most of what I planned to do, I was exhausted. The things I loved felt like chores, items on the checklist of life rather than something that could genuinely benefit me and be enjoyable. And the stuff that wasn't so great? I'd punish myself over it - until I learned that not only was this biologically supposed to be difficult, but learning it was a process.

So I set a few things to do each day. I broke it down and made it simple for myself. I slowly chipped away, and I kept moving forward. No punishment, no judgement. If I had an unproductive day, I'd look at what happened, and I told myself I'd do better tomorrow. 

And when I got the website made, the class finished, the story written, I'd be able to look at it and say: "I did that."

Congratulations to everyone else who completed the Ultimate Blog Challenge, and to anyone worrying about what they haven't accomplished: nothing is impossible. The only way you could ever lose your way is to stop moving completely.

When talking to a friend about some tough memories, she said something to me that I have the feeling is going to stick with me a long time.

"What's the story you're telling behind that?"

We all have stories, she explained. Not the stories that really happened, the ones that are actually a part of our history. But the stories we tell ourselves, the ones that come up in our memories and play tricks on us.

"I wasn't good enough, so I failed." 

"Their lives are perfect; I wish I was like them."

"I ruined everything, and now they hate me."

Maybe, as an anxious or sensitive person, you actually say it in those words. Maybe you don't realize that's the way you see it, but you might as well be saying it in the back of your mind. Our lives go through a filter, where we see the circumstances as a play - and the ending is whatever we decide to believe about ourselves. And often, the impressions we leave are strong and can be unforgiving.

Look back over the stories you tell yourself, and find one that stands out as an old regret. Then rewrite it. Pick out the parts where you did well, and the parts where you could have done better. Then rewrite the ending. Create the final act where you release your pain, climb the next hurdle, prove yourself and believe you deserve it. 

You're already writing your story. Empowerment just means consciously creating a new chapter.

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself."

"If you want to test the mettle of a man, give him power."


When you're trying to grow anything of your own - confidence, creativity, self-love or self-discipline - power eventually comes up. What has power over you? What do you have power over, and what should you be able to control? 

We're taught, probably for a good reason, to be afraid of having too much power over the world around us. After all, will we really know how to use it wisely? Will we wind up becoming one more person in a long line of bullies, acting only in our self-interests? Or are there institutions that have had power over us for too long, and is this the only way to make a stand?

The Tarot has a lot of cards about power, and in writing my upcoming course, I was surprised at how much crossover there was in just the first six. There's the Magician, who is a magical student, adept, or a stage magician and a shyster depending on who you ask. There's the Emperor, a ruler of men, and the Heirophant, a ruler of our traditions and institutions. 

That's to say nothing of the cards that come later, such as the Chariot and Strength, who in many decks come right after each other. To me that's the story of "hard control" vs "soft control", of the times you have to take life by the reins and steer, the times you have to gently tame your inner beasts and demons. It's the Chariot I decided to put up as an illustration for just that reason. And wouldn't you know, my randomizer selected the Lunatic Tarot by Evan Yi Feng. It's one of the first decks I've ever seen where the charioteer isn't pulling horses, or a dark and light Sphinx, but instead is in command of human beings. That's scary - but the beauty of it is when you take a look at that illustration, if it's drawn in your reading, and say "am I exercising control or abuse of a situation?"

There are so many ways to use power, so many ways to define what it even is or where it belongs. That's why to me, power itself isn't a dirty word. We're afraid to call ourselves powerful, to say we have any kind of control. We think it'll make us scary, selfish, or egotistical. But if you don't have power over anything, ultimately it has power over you. You lose any kind of hold you might have over your own life, or the life you want to make for yourself.

"With great power comes great responsibility." And if you don't acknowledge your potential for power, you don't take responsibility for what's happening around you. The beauty of the Major Arcana is that we've been all its figures at one point, or will be someday. We've taken charge or been stuck in tradition, we've fought our problems with gentle grace or by reigning them in. If you don't like the role you see yourself playing, you can understand the part it's playing in your life, and make the choice to transform into another.

And that's the ultimate power over, and responsibility for, your own life. So who will you decide to be today?

There's so much more to intuitive thinking than just psychic readings and spirit guides. While that's the end goal, developing yourself and your mind so you can be more in touch with the universe, here's a few things developing your intuition can teach you along the way.

(image is "Intuition" by Bente Hansen) 

• Pay attention. The world has so much to say to you if you look around and see what it's telling you. You have so much to say to you, if you only tune in. If you learn to listen, you'll be open to more points of view and more possibilities.
• Slow down. We're so wrapped up in the world around us that we don't always take time to really see and feel what we're doing. Slowing down puts us in touch with our own bodies, with the things we want and need - which means we can take care of ourselves in a more profound way.
• You know more than you think you do. Gurus can point you in the right direction, and you can learn a lot from an outside perspective, but ultimately you're just as in touch with inner wisdom as everyone else. If you believe you'll see results from trusting your instincts, then you will, whether that's achieving your heart's desire or learning more about yourself to make it happen.
• The world is out to give you good things. Really. Even when everything is going horribly. There are no "bad" cards in Tarot, and there are very few 100% "bad" events in life. Our mistakes and our tragedies are tools to learning and developing into something greater than we are. Listening to your intuition means you have an internal guide all the time telling you how and why that is, and it makes the true lessons of the moment far easier to access and believe.
• You are magic. Listen to your intuition, and you'll realize all the miraculous things you've seen in movies are already part of you. As you unlock more and more of your own psychic potential, you'll realize that all the incredible things you ever wanted to do were already there to begin with, waiting for you to bring them out.  Will you have natural talent to be an expert at everything? No. But you'll have access to it - to learning lessons from it, tapping into it, and growing from it. And you can make anything you want a part of the magic of your world.

"And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.
For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire." - The Charge of the Goddess, Doreen Valiente

The Sun is one of my favorite cards, because it's pure joy. Simple, uncomplicated. Your inner light is burning like a torch, and the whole world is ahead of you. 
It's no wonder there's often children in the imagery (like here, in the fascinating 78 Doors Tarot), because rarely do we have that attitude of "I can do anything" once we've grown up. 

Yes, that's partly because children think they can do anything without the planning, focus, and learning from past mistakes. But it's partly because after a certain age, we don't really get the room.

We do a lot of things because we "have to." Because that's how it's done - jobs that bore us but bring in the money, holidays with family we hate, wearing uncomfortable shoes because they give us a certain "image." We're told we need to do these things to be succesful or  to have respect. 

And pursuing our hobbies and loves? Taking a vacation? Actually, gasp, making money? That's selfish. It means you aren't serving other people, and what they need. You ought to be ashamed. 

Somewhere along the way, our society decided that misery was a sign of responsibility. That we couldn't follow our bliss without sacrificing everyone else along the way. And we couldn't be more wrong. The bliss we pursue, and the stability of the people and things we love, are completely connected.

There's a scene in the fabulous satire "Good Omens", where the demon Crowley talks about designing an overly-complicated highway system. He says that all he needs is some backed-up traffic. Because that means a thousand people go home stressed out and angry. They take it out on their spouse or significant other. Their spouse takes it out on their kids. The kids yell at the dog. 

When we're dissatisfied with our lives, an aura of stress and frustration spreads out, ripples in a pond. And those little pebbles of anxiety do more damage than one person's bad decisions ever could. It means that our whole world is the result of our collective self-love. The way you feel, the story you tell about your life, sets the stage for the whole world. Being happy is one of the most unselfish things you can do.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not shaming someone who has, say, clinical depression.  But it's all the more important, when you need to make it one day at a time, to imagine something you want even a little better. Because at our highest and at our lowest, a little goes a long way.

I'm not saying to neglect everyone else's feelings. No man is an island. How happy will you be until the people you love are happy too? Make them a part of your dreams - but there needs to be room for you.

Imagine the happiest possible future for yourself. What does that look like? And more importantly: why? Even if you imagine yourself zoned out on the couch watching TV all day, what about that appeals to you? 

A love of entertainment? Take that love, study it, and turn it into a part-time stint as a critic. 

A lack of responsibility? That's harder.  How about this: craft a world where responsibility feels that effortless. 

The more you listen to your "inner light" as a possible reality, instead of a hypothetical, the more you find out about yourself. The more you can craft yourself into the best possible person you can be, with the best possible life for you. That's our real job. Our constant learning, growing, and blossoming is what we'll need when we're six, sixty, or six hundred. It's not a destination, it's a journey. 

 So let's get to work.

Here's one more look at something we're told not to do all the time that, if you go just a little deeper, may help you understand more about the world - and be more uniquely yourself in the process!

Listen to bad advice (but you don't have to take it!)

Here's a little nugget of wisdom I remembered from Anthropology 101: Everything has a purpose.

That doesn't mean it's a good purpose, or a purpose that's going to help everyone. A lot of the time, what helps one group take power leaves another group oppressed and left in the dust. Get-rich-quick schemes leave you with a burst financial bubble, and corrupt politicians break their promises and betray the people who put them in power.

But here's the thing: you know that phrase "follow the money"? Even if there's no money to follow, follow the "why". Someone is benefitting from all this, whether it's for quick money, more followers, or even just to feel good about themselves. And the people who take the bad advice? What are they getting? A sense of security? An outlet for their anger?  

Sometimes there's an even bigger picture: what's happening in the lives of these people, the schemers and bullies of the world, that keeps them from stepping up and just putting good ideas in those places? Were they the victims of bad systems once before? Are there bad ideas in place that are keeping them mean or deceitful, because they think that's what the world has to really be like - instead of stepping up and changing their own behavior to something that works?

In the Tarot, the Devil card isn't actually about any real figure. You can believe in the Devil, or you can think he's a mythical figure, but the Devil card is about the things that bind us - often by our own choice. He's the addiction, the defeating self-talk, the bad habits, the mental chains we wear. He's what happens when we start listening to bad advice, instead of listening to our higher selves.  

The Devil from the Ceremonial Magick Tarot, by Lon Duquette, is a great illustration of this.  Even if you don't know much about ceremonial magick (and I'm still learning myself!), take look at the crows on  either side of his face.  They remind me a lot of double talk, and negative self-talk, and all the chatter in our lives from all angles.  We may be smart enough to discount it, but we don't really think about what to do instead.

So use this exercise for yourself.  You know the things you tell yourself late at night? The stuff that the musical 'title of show' so brilliantly calls the "vampires", the soul-sucking fear you're not good or creative or brave enough? Don't take that advice, but look at it for a second.  

Where is it coming from? If you follow it, what will it help? Will it make you feel safer? More comfortable? Once you find out why you're telling yourself to just quit and go home, you can burst through the block with the good advice - the source of truth.

Don't take the bad advice. Don't even take it to heart. But if you look at all the bad advice out there, you'll get a lot closer to the good advice that will serve you well. Deep down, you know the difference.